Almost Threw In The Towel

Its been a rough two months in our household in the burbs. We have had a lot of drama and my heart has been racing most of the time. The economy, like most others, is kicking our butts. Dave has never made more money than he is right now and unfortunately we are not seeing it because he is putting so much more right back into his gas tank. See he drives his own car (SUV) to go to all of his stores. He gets paid for his mileage but trust me its no where near enough to make up for what he is putting into it. I on the other hand have lost hours at work and may stand to lose some more this fall. This is not FUN for any of us.

We are thinking of trading in my van and getting Dave a more fuel efficient vehicle and I would take over his SUV since I don't drive nearly as much as he does. The jury is still out on this one though. The kicker is he needs a vehicle that gets decent mileage but he really can't drive a sedan because of his knees. Its hard to find crossover vehicles with decent gas mileage that we can afford.

I've also been doing a lot of thinking about the whole adoption thing. When Dave and I started this process 2 1/2 years ago I never imagined in a million years that we would still be waiting for Diana with no sign of an end in sight. I have been wondering and worrying if we should even continue with the process. I worry about the age difference between the boys and Diana. I worry how I'm going to entertain two 8 year olds and a 1 year old at the same time. I worry that the boys are going to resent Diana when we can't do everything they want because she's too little. I worry about traveling with a little one again.

Am I willing to trade in my freedom? Right now the boys are pretty self sufficient. They play on their own. They feed themselves. They can get their own snacks. Sometimes they even make their own breakfasts and lunches. They don't rely on me for EVERYTHING anymore. Rarely do they wake up in the middle of the night. They are even now beginning to sleep in (even past 8am).

Can I even begin to imagine changing diapers again? Waking up in the middle of the night? Having to feed a one year old again? Planning my days around naps and bedtimes again? Am I ready to quit my job (how few hours it may be) to be home with a child who's not ready for daycare? Am I ready for car seats, cribs, and high chairs again? Am I ready to completely change our family dynamics?

These are the horrible thoughts I have been having for over six weeks now. What is so scary is they were beginning to consume my insides. I was there for Dave and the boys and we really did have fun on vacation but these thoughts have been gnawing on me every time there is a quiet moment.

I haven't been on my favorite adoption board lately because I just couldn't even pretend to be positive. I also didn't want to admit defeat because truthfully I wanted to wallow in my own little pity party that NO ONE not even Dave knew I was having.

I stopped participating in monthly swaps for two reasons. The obvious reason is financial but the other was because I was wondering what would I do with all the stuff I have accumulated in the last 2 1/2 years. I really did wonder what Dave was going to say about all the "wasted" money of all the things I have bought for the arrival of Diana and then for all the swaps if I said I wanted to end the quest.

I have quietly racked my brain for weeks about what to tell Dave. I wondered what the boys would think about not getting a sister after all. I dreaded telling all our family and friends. I think what bothered me the most is that so many of them don't understand this process and so they would just think we had been taken for a ride all along anyway. Of course those of you who are waiting with us know the truth.

Sunday Dave and I were driving to church and again the thoughts were racing. I had actually thought of telling him about my feelings after church. We were in church and as always after communion I begin to pray. I always thank God for Dave, the boys my friends and family. I ask him to continue to guide me and help point me in the right direction. As always I prayed for Diana. I asked God to watch over her no matter if she was born yet or not. As I prayed those words my heart was overcome with such peace. I felt as if God was reassuring me that this is what we are suppose to be doing.

At breakfast (the boys had spent the night at a neighbors so weren't with us). I finally told Dave all that I was thinking and feeling. I told him that I had planned on telling him I was ready to give up. I told him that I couldn't though. I was reminded again at church just how real Diana is to me. She is as real to me as the boys were the second I found out I was pregnant. I AM pregnant! I AM expecting a baby! I realize that this pregnancy is probably the longest gestation known in any animal kingdom but it is one I am willing to endure.

For those of you who know us, or know other people who are enduring this horrible wait. Accept that we are indeed pregnant just like people who are physically expecting a child. Just because you can't see our bellies bulge from growing a baby (Mine is bulging from over eating thank you very much!) doesn't mean we don't feel the same about our child. Ask us about the wait and actually listen to what we have to say. I don't expect you to totally get the process because I don't and I'm going through it...but do realize that China is not out for our money and now they are going to stiff us. China will not really see much of our money until we actually get our referral(and that's not a whole lot of money then either if you think about it all).

I am back to myself and willing to fight the fight with the rest of my waiting friends. I am ready to encourage my friends again and cheer them on as they get their referrals and bring home their babies. I am ready to give my family 100% again and to savor them like they deserve. I am ready to live my life as is until its time to turn my life upside down. The rewards I am sure will surpass any feelings of "losing out" when I am chasing a little girl who relies on me....even if she does wake me up before 7am.

Vacation 2008

Soooooo with the economy being what it is we will not being going back to Disney World as we thought we would be this fall. We decided to go simple this year and drove to Minnesota to the Mall of America. Why do you ask would a woman take her husband and two boys to the mall???

• It was cheaper than Disney World.



• We could drive there in less than a day.



• They boasted tons of family activities.



• I could shop while they played (wishful thinking on that part).



• We got a heck of a great package!

We left on a Tuesday morning and got there by lunchtime. The boys were great in the car. I was beyond impressed! We got there by lunchtime, ate lunch and checked into our hotel. The boys were impressed by the pool and Dave and I were impressed with the room. After settling in we swam in the pool and then headed over to the mall. We walked around a little and then someone gave us some tickets for the rides. The boys and I rode a roller coaster and the boys were ready for more. We reminded them that we would be spending a day there so not to worry. We had dinner, shopped some more and then went and crashed.

So my package included:

• Our hotel stay.



• All day passes for one day at the amusement park in the mall.



• Admission to the aquarium in the mall.



• Admission and parking to the Minnesota Zoo.



• Tickets to the IMax theatre.



• Admission to the Science Museum.



• Coupons to various restaurants.

There was a catch though. You had to use this all in 3 days. This wasn't a problem at all. We did the aquarium the same day we did the amusement park. It was our "break" from the rides. The theatre was located at the zoo so we did both of those together. The cool thing was that everything but the zoo was indoors so we really only needed one good weather day.

We really had a great time and would consider doing the whole thing again another time. I did not do any real mall damage since Big Brother (ie Dave) was watching everything I picked up. Driving home we did get caught in every storm there was...but we made it safe and sound. The boys are still talking about it so that says a lot. Now to figure out an inexpensive way to spend a few days away from home (and the boys) for our 10Th anniversary!

If Your Life Was A Movie

OK so its been WAAAAAY too long since I've posted anything on here. I was checking in on my blogging buddies when I saw that Jessica had recently tagged me. This one looks good so here goes nothing.

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?Here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...
7. Include commentary

Opening Credits: What About Now by Daughtry. I love Chris Daughtry and this song. I guess it would be somewhat appropriate to be the opening credits.

Waking Up: Rocking Roll Dreams Come True by Meatloaf. This is quite funny because as much as I love Meatloaf I don't think this is one of my favorites nor would I want to wake up to it.

First Day At School: Centerfold by J. Geils Band. Ok so this was a big hit in the 80's and I downloaded Dave's Totally 80's cd when I got my iPod. I can not in the least bit think this is even remotely appropriate for any part of my life....but is is suppose to be funny right????

Falling In Love: Keep The Faith by Bon Jovi. Nope not exactly a song I would put together with falling in love. Again I love Bon Jovi but not really this song!

Fight Song: Because Of You by Rebe McEntire and Kelly Clarkson. Not exactly a fighting kind of song but one of my favorite songs for sure.

Breaking Up: Living On A Prayer by Bon Jovi. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this song. I think the lyrics of this song have more of a statement of staying together but that's what makes this thing so funny.

Prom: Stronger Woman by Jewel. This is one of my newer favorite songs! I think its probably good for me with reference to the prom because had I been a stronger woman then I would have waited to be asked to the prom instead of asking the guy I went with. I am certain I would have had a better time but oh well.

Life's Ok: In And Out Of Love by Bon Jovi. Can my library please find something other than Bon Jovi??? This is not one of my favorite songs but it is what it is.

Mental Breakdown: Tough Little Boys by Gary Allen. This cracks me up because one of my greatest mental breakdowns was when the boys started kindergarten. One of the lines in the song says "Your first day of school, I cried like a fool, and I followed your school bus to town." I was hysterical as I watched my little boys walk into the school for the first time on their own. So in that regard it is extremely appropriate.

Driving: Breakdown by Daughtry. I can listen to Daughtry any time of the day and its definitely good driving music. This song should have been in the last category but the last song was good too.

Flashback: Always by Bon Jovi (of course). This actually is a good on for this category considering the lyrics.

Getting Back Together: Tainted Love by Soft Cell. Another classic 80's song. I think this should have been the break up song and the break up song should have been this one but I'm playing by the rules.

Wedding: Standing Out In A Crowd by Trisha Yearwood. Yep I guess Dave and I were standing out in a crowd on our wedding day. I love Trisha and also this song.

Birth Of Child: Friends In Low Places by Garth Brooks. Not exactly the song I think of when I think of the day Bailey and Matthew were born. It is a fun song though! Gotta love Garth!!

Final Battle: Heads Carolina, Tails California by Jo Dee Messina. Actually I think of the boys deciding who gets to do what they want when any coin is flipped. This is so a battle is avoided though. I love Jo Dee though and this song actually reminds me of the three months I stayed with my dad and step-mom in Vegas for three months when I was trying to escape the reality of a broken heart.

Death Scene: Sweet Love by Trisha Yearwood. Not exactly the song that I think of when I think of dying but a good song none the less.

Funeral Song: You Give Love A Bad Name by Bon Jovi. OK I can't believe even in my wildest dreams this would be played at my funeral. I love the song but not for my funeral!!!

End Credits: Baby Don't You Let Go by Trisha Yearwood. This is actually a fun song so I think its a good one for the end of my movie.

So now I have to tag someone. Actually I will leave it up to you. If you feel the urge to do this fun assignment leave me a comment.

Good-bye Papa

Wednesday morning I received the call I knew was coming. My grandfather had died. It was so sad to hear my mom tell me those words. It was sad knowing my only living grandparent was no longer here. It was sad to know that my mom had lost her dad. It was sad to know that Diana would never meet her great grandfather. I cried off and on as I drove to be with my mom and sister.

All day Wednesday and Thursday we prepared. We made memorial arrangements. We looked through pictures. We shopped for things and ran errands. It was the first time in many years I actually spent the night at my mom's house. I needed to be there for her.

Friday we had the memorial. It was short and simple. A few memories shared, pictures looked at, hugs to all of us. My grandfather will be long remembered and loved. He was a special man and a very special part of my life.

I am grateful we knew he was dying. I am grateful I got to see him two more times before he left us. I got to tell him I loved him a few more times and heard him tell me that he loved me. I got to tell him Bailey has two girlfriends and in typical Papa fashion he thought that Bailey was a "stud". It will be a memory I will not soon forget. He also yelled at me one more time but again it just proves he was still "with it" until the end. I got to rub his arms for him and also his legs. He broke my heart one more time but I understand that he didn't mean to. He was a special man and one I will never forget.

When we were looking through pictures it was amazing how active he was in our lives. He was at both mine and my sister's graduations for both grammar school and also high school. He got to see all three of his great grandchildren soon after they were born. You can see the love he had for them in all of these pictures. My mom stated to the minister that he was a stern father to her. I did see that as her daughter but I also saw that all bets were off with his grandchildren and his great grandchildren. He loved us with wild abandon. We loved him back.

Papa-I will never forget you and will never stop loving you! Goodbye sweet man.

Ladybug Fun And Other Surprises!

Karmen, Lisa & Carole (in the back) Mary & Julia
Ladybug Friends!
From Jennifer
Sweet bows from Pam

I ABSOLUTELY love my ladybug group! The woman of that group are phenomenal! I hope that one day I will be able to meet each and every one of them! This weekend I was lucky enough to meet up with Karmen again and to finally meet another ladybug Carole! I met Karmen in the fall when her and her husband Greg sang at a neighboring church. They are extremely sweet people. When we met then we talked about going baby shopping in the future. Carole was picking up her sweet daughter Julia when I met Karmen.

We finally made plans to meet and what a great day it was. I have been so stressed lately and this was exactly what I needed. Karmen and Carole along with Carole's sweet daughters Mary and Julia met me at the mall for some shopping. We had such a great time actually talking face to face rather than over a computer. I don't think there was one quiet moment the whole day. After shopping we went to lunch and I was impressed by how good Carole's girls were. We talked forever and the girls just colored and kept themselves busy. Very impressive!

We have vowed to get together again soon and spend more time together! I knew before how special these woman are but now I am just blown away by them. Carole is proof that there will be a happy ending and Karmen who has endured so much these past few years is just an inspiration to me! I don't think she realizes how special I think she is.

Us ladybugs had a fun Spring Bling Swap. We were to get hair bows or caps. Pam had me (again ;-)). She got Diana the sweetest bow with her name on it plus two smaller bows. I can't wait to see Diana wearing her "bling". Thank you again Pam for your generosity and your friendship!

I was in another swap from another group and Jennifer got Diana two cute rompers and a beautiful jewelry box! She composed a poem that brought happy tears to my eyes. I have been so lucky to have been a part of some great activities as we continue to wait for our daughter.

Enjoy the pictures!

18 Months Down....Who Knows How Many More...

I had originally started this post on our 18 month LIDaversary and couldn't muster up enough enthusiasm to actually write anything good or bad. 18 months of not knowing is tough. Its even tougher knowing I have no idea how many months I have left to wait. For whatever reason I believe that 2009 is our year. I won't begin to guess as to when but something tells me it will happen in 2009.



I want to believe that things will change after the Olympics. I want to believe that there will be a speed up. I want to believe that after the spotlight is off China they will start to refer these children at a quicker pace. I am not living in a fantasy world that it will speed up and we will have Diana before the end of the year. I just hope it will become a little more predictable. There are 281 LIDs between the last LID referred and our LID. I just want to have SOME idea as to how much longer we will wait.

When we took the boys to Disney in 2006 we thought it would be the last "big" vacation before we got Diana and had to start making little trips again. We then went to San Antonio last year. Again hoping it would be the "last trip" as a family of 4. We are now planning a mini getaway for Dave and I this summer and then our "last trip" to Disney (shhh don't tell the boys yet) this fall to celebrate our 1oth wedding anniversary. I hope and pray the only real trip we will be making in 2009 will be to China go get Diana.

We will wait no matter how long it takes but there are days I wonder if it really will happen. I am an optimistic person by nature but how long can a person stay positive without any positive feedback? I just continue to hope and pray for my little girl who I already love so much. I think that's why this is so hard. We already love her and just want her home.....

Girls Club!

I belong to a very special club that started in full force last winter. Its called Girls Club (original I know). It started after my great friend K had surgery last February. What started as two friends just hanging out one keeping the other company while she recuperated has become one of my favorite clubs. You see, K and I always find a way to incorporate good food in our hang out sessions. We laugh because while our husbands are at work making money we are out eating and sometimes even known to shop as well (hee hee). When P would go to work he wouldn't ask K if I was coming over he would ask where we were eating...LOL. Dave has joined us once or twice since he works closer to us. Occasionally we let him in but then its no longer Girls Club for the time he's around.

Anyway K & P got her referral a while ago and we were beyond thrilled for them. No one deserved to be parents more than K and P in my opinion! We celebrated on and on until they left for China. I was honored to be the chauffeur on the ride back from the airport. Seeing H for the first time with K & P brought happy tears to my face. K was finally a mommy! K & P muddled through their first week home and I see more and more ease in my friend's attitude as she gets the hang of this parenting thing.

Yesterday was a very special moment in Girls Club history. We inducted a new member into our little group. Our twosome has turned to a threesome! H has joined the ranks! K was so sweet when we were out to lunch yesterday. She told H she was now an official member of a very special club. It took all I had to fight back the tears as she told this to H. She then put me almost over the edge when she told H that there would be four of us once Diana joins us. I then told H she will have to teach Diana all about the fun times that are had in Girls Club.

K-I know you don't do mushy well but you really proved to me (yet again) how wonderful of a friend you are yesterday. Thank you for being one of my closest friends and being co-founder of our very special club!

Belated Post On Swaps

I have participated in three swaps this year with my WWF 2006 group.

The first one was a PJ swap and I got the sweetest handmade Pjs from Gayla in Texas. Her mother made them for us!

The second swap was a Year of the Rat swap. We were to give gifts either Chinese New Year related or rat/mouse related. Anik from Canada got Diana a very cute mouse outfit, a mouse sippy cup and a Chinese New Year story book. She got me beautiful Chinese New Year Stamps from Canada that I plan on having framed. She got the boys light up Mickey Mouse lollipops!

The third swap was a Spring Fever swap. Di and David from California got Diana a cute book and a ladybug toy. Di made the cutest little bunny shirt and skirt for Diana. I can't wait to see her in it!

Thank you to all the wonderful people who got Diana such cute things. These swaps make the wait so much more bearable!

I've Been Tagged

Its been a long time since I've been tagged and my friend Jess has tagged me. Here are the rules:


1. Pick the nearest book that has 123 pages.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next 3 sentences.
5. Tag 5 people.

The book I choose was:Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See. One of my favorite books!

The 5Th sentence on page 123:"She searched the county, traveling far outside her usual matchmaking territory until she heard about you from the diviner."

The next 3 sentences: "Once she met you, she decided to hitch my fate to yours." "I don't understand" Snow Flower smiled ruefully.

I now have to tag five people: Ruth, Laura, Karmen, Kym and Michelle one of my newer readers. Have fun everyone.

Leave me a comment once you've completed your assignment =)

Is This Country Girl A Closet Rocker???

For those of you who know me well you know I LOVE my country music. I love the stories that are told in country songs. I like the sincerity you hear in their voices. So what is a country girl doing at a Daughtry/Bon Jovi concert you ask?

Well if you REALLY know me you will know I have not always been a country girl. You also know I grew up in the 80s. You also KNOW how much I LOVE American Idol! You also know that I was and still am a huge Chris Daughtry fan! Oh yeah and you would know that I LOVE Bon Jovi. BTW Bon Jovi released a song You Can't Go Home with country artist Jennifer Nettles about a year ago. It was a big hit on the country charts as well as the rock charts.

So anyway Dave and I got the tickets before Christmas and have been waiting for this day ever since. Let me tell you we were NOT disappointed! The concert was incredible! Daughtry performed for 45 minutes and will be headlining his own concerts before you know it (in my opinion). I was disappointed though because someone told me that Daughtry sings a Bon Jovi song and he comes out and sings it with him. That did not happen.

Bon Jovi gets on stage and let me tell you...the man still has it!!! He is a born entertainer if I have ever seen one! He sang non-stop for 2.5 hours. It was awesome!!! As we were walking to the parking lot I heard a woman talking to her daughter describing him as a little boy who got his wish granted to be a rock star. He was so much fun to watch and you could see he really was enjoying what he was doing. I will say it was the BEST concert I have ever been to.

Oh yeah let me tell you my favorite moment of the entire show. The band starts the music for Blaze Of Glory and out walks Chris Daughtry. They sang the song together and I am telling you they NEED to record that song together! It was out of this world! I have included the YouTube video I found from the concert. The beginning of the video is the end of Bed Of Roses but then the song starts.

Maybe this country girl has many other music interests after all....

Bailey Gets An Award

At the boys' school they practice Character Counts. Each month a grade presents a new pillar and the children are encouraged to practice/live out that pillar. The following month the teachers present awards to the children who display that trait. The pillar for February was trustworthiness.

We got a note from Bailey's teacher telling us that she had chosen him to receive the award from their class. One other classmate received it as well. We were invited to attend the assembly so we could see our little boy be presented his award.

Unfortunately the 1st grade teachers were at a meeting so they had subs passing them out. Fortunately the PE teacher was Bailey's sub. My family adores Mrs. G! When she called Bailey's name his whole body lit up. I think he floated to the front of the gym. The principal said Bailey should have gotten the award for the most excited 1st grader to receive the award. It was really cute.

Bailey~congrats on getting such an important award. We love knowing that your teachers know they can trust you. We love you so much Beetle!

PS Will post pictures tomorrow. I thought I had them downloaded already!

Matthew Has Entered A New Club

The day we first noticed his loose tooth

Look at that toothless grin!

At long last Matthew has entered the club that he has longed to be in for well over a year. He has finally lost his first tooth! He noticed his tooth was loose a few weeks ago but it was just barely loose. Yesterday I was able to pull it a little bit until he felt the blood. It was just dangling tonight so one quick pull and it was out. He excitedly looked in the mirror and then proudly put his tooth in its pouch and will anxiously await the visit of the Tooth Fairy. His brother has already told him how special it is when you lose your first tooth and the Tooth Fairy will pay you $5.00 for your first tooth.

He can't wait to get to school tomorrow to show his toothless grin to his teacher and friends. Way to go Matthew!

Have To Share

First I'm sure you're probably thinking two posts in one week??? Has Lisa finally decided to come back to bloggyville and post more often? Don't give me too much credit just yet. Lets see if I can just become more consistant again....

Anyway on to the purpose of this post:

I didn't go to work today because Matthew was sick. He was soooo disappointed because today was the 100th day of school and they got to share a special snack that everyone contributed 100 pieces of something to. He was WAY too sick to go though. He has a very nasty gastro bug. I haven't seen my baby this sick since he ended up getting his apendix out when he was 3!

Finally this afternoon/evening he is starting to feel a little better. He hasn't vomited since 2 o'clock this afternoon. I have finally gave in and he has had a few ounces of gaterade. He still can't have the oranges he is begging for. I also got him to eat a few graham crackers.

• He is asleep on the couch and sits straight up and I thought he whimpered that he had to vomit again. So I ask him what he said. He says "Tomato soup, tomatoes and apples." and lays back down and falls back to sleep. I was hysterical. My poor baby must be dreaming of food. Hoping he feels better tomorrow....

Reflections....

Note: I started writing this on Jan 2nd....well better late than never. I will try to be a better blogger again!

Now that 2007 is over and 2008 has begun I thought I would reflect back on the year that just passed.....It amazes me how quickly time flies by.



The beginning of the year brought new hope and hope that we would see our little girl's face for the first time. As you all know this did not happen but we hold on and still embrace that hope. We believe that we will see Diana's face someday and we just have to be patient in waiting. We are willing to wait no matter how long it takes.



I have watched my boys grow from little kindergartners to big 1st graders. They never cease to amaze me. Matthew is such a great reader, has the most creative imagination and can draw like you wouldn't believe. He has matured so much this past year and I am so honored that I am his mommy. He is a sensitive boy who hates to see his family hurt or sad.



Bailey is a little boy who surprises me with his love of numbers. He definately did not get that from me. He loves to build with his legos and also to play with his friends. He prefers to play with others than by himself. He is always up for a good board game.....and of course he is my little cuddler.....If given the choice he will cuddle next to me any time....I know this will change in a blink of an eye but for now I am loving it. He has grown so much more confident this past school year and I can't wait to see him blossom even more.


So many memories have been made in 2007 and already a few in 2008.

• Looks like this will be the year that Matthew loses his first tooth. Its been wiggling for two weeks now.
• The boys had their first true sleepover just last week.
• We celebrated Dave's 40th birthday with gusto. Dinner with our closest friends and then dinner out with the boys on Daddy's "real" birhtday.
• We will welcome Baby H into our lives in just a few weeks when she comes home from China.

I know 2008 is not our year to bring Diana home but everyday we are a day closer. Although I can't wait for the "wait" to be a distant memory I need to cherish every day I have to make memories with my family.

Out Of Review......Finally!!!

"The CCAA has finished the review of the adoption application documents registered with our office before October 31, 2006.
The CCAA has finished the placement of children for the families whose adoption application documents were registered with our office before December 14, 2005."

This is the news that my friend Pam emailed one of my groups before I went to bed last night. I was so happy when she posted this. Basically this means that China (CCAA) has looked over our adoption paperwork and has FINALLY cleared us to adopt. I know some of you are thinking "Hey, I thought you were already approved!?!" The way this adoption thing works is this....you submit your documents to your adoption agency and then hopefully they look them over with a fine tooth comb. Once they approve your paperwork they send it to China. Eventually people at the CCAA go through your papers again with a fine tooth comb. Sometimes people are questioned and asked to give more information. Once the CCAA has reviewed all files for your month they will update their site stating so. We were never questioned. This is a big sigh of relieve.

This does not mean however that will will find out who Diana is anytime soon. As of the beginning of Dec they had just given referrals to people who had LIDs up until 12/14/05 (Congrats Kelly!) There is a major backlog and no telling if there will be a speed up anytime soon. I will not even attempt to guess when we will get our referral. For right now I am content with being out of review and knowing that my friend Kelly will be meeting her little girl in the very near future.

Diana~Mommy loves you so much and can't wait to meet you. We have just found out that we are a step closer in the process. Although we know nothing about you, you are always in our hearts and on our minds. Hold tight baby girl we will continue to wait for you no matter how long it takes.

Seven Years Ago Today.....

I was officially inducted into a very special club. I was given the membership that I had always dreamed of. I became a mommy for the first time! I became the mommy of two of the cutest, most sweetest little baby boys!!

Whew! Where have the past seven years gone? I can remember holding each of my boys for the first time individually and then together as if it were just yesterday. Today they are typical 7 year olds. Their energy tires me! They love school. They love Cub Scouts. They love their family and just love to have fun!

Bailey was born first and he definitely has all the classifications of a first born. He is responsible, caring and loving. He loves to be with his Mommy and Daddy! He loves to play board games (Trouble is his favorite). He loves to play Gameboy! He is definitely a Lego Maniac! He has lots of good friends and a ready smile for anyone he meets!

Matthew my second born (although just two hours after his brother) fits the bill for the youngest child. He always tests the waters to see what he can get away with. He has the biggest heart of gold though! So sweet and caring! Don't you mess with his family or he'll come get you! He loves playing game cube! He loves action figures and is CRAZY about The Captain Underpants books!!!! He too has tons of friends and will win you over with his silliness!

So far we have celebrated by having a birthday party at the movies! We saw Alvin and The Chipmunks! The boys and all their friends had such a good time. I will only work a half a day today. After the boys get out of school today we plan on taking them to Red Robins for dinner.

Boys-Mommy loves you each so much and am proud of you! Have a VERY happy birthday! I love you!

(Due to technical difficulties I can not share any pictures of my handsome men.)

I'm Being Spoiled!!!

I need to thank my Secret Pal for being such a wonderful person. Besides the wonderful gifts I have gotten to know this amazing person and she has touched a special place in my heart. The gifts this round were just as fabulous as the last round but my all time favorite thing this time was her note. In it she was telling me about my gifts but then went on to talk about snuggling with Diana Marie. She then wished me a happy belated LID anniversary. Her final sentence so simple was a great encouragement"Never give up Lisa, we will have our babies soon!" Oh how I needed to hear that! It brought tears to my eyes! Thank you so much.

OK now that I've gotten all mushy here is what you all want to know and see. She got the family Lindt truffles (although I will NOT be teaching my boys about them anytime soon...lol). I may share them with Dave though. She got me a wonderfully scented Orange Cinnamon Candle and soap. I can't wait to light it this weekend. Also a generous gift card to Starbucks. I will have to have a pumpkin latte in fall fashion tomorrow!! For Diana she got the sweetest PJs with a mug of hot cocoa on the top and all kinds of fun things on the bottoms. When I snuggle with Diana when she is wearing them I will definitely be thinking of my wonderful Secret Pal!

Again Thank you soooo much for being so good to me and my family!

Gifts From A Secial Friend, Secret Pal & Halloween Fun!

LADYBUG TOYS FOR DIANA FROM ERIN
LADYBUG & FLOWER SHOES!
BEAUTIFUL CHINESE SILK DRESS

ADORABLE LADYBUG DRESSES!

BAILEY A.K.A. "BARNEY FIFE
MATTHEW AS OPTIMUS PRIME
LEAVING A HOUSE AFTER TRICK-OR-TREATING
OUTFIT FROM OUR SECRET PAL
WONDERFUL GIFTS FROM OUR WONDERFUL SECRET PAL!

This is going to be three posts in one tonight. Bare with me as I get through everything :o)

• As I have shared countless times I have "met" some wonderful people on-line in the adoption community! Erin is no exception. Erin and I have been friends for over a year after learning we were DTC on the same day. It was no surprise when we also had the same LID too! We continued to get to know each other and were looking forward to meeting each other face to face when we got our girls in China. Well as we know life sometimes goes in a direction you don't expect and Erin and her family accepted a referral for their sweet daughter Hanna. Even though Erin and I will not get to travel together (she has been home with Hanna since June) our friendship continues to blossom. She sent a wonderful box filled with all sorts of sweet things for Diana. Ladybug toys, two ladybug dresses and pair of ladybug shoes and a BEAUTIFUL pink Chinese silk dress. Thank you again Erin for such sweet things for our daughter. Can't wait to be able to send you pictures of Diana wearing all the clothes!!!

• Secret Pal season has started again and I have been blessed with an outstanding pal this time around!!! She has emailed me and sent e-cards and today I came home to a box of everything wonderful!! The boys each got a puzzle and are enjoying putting them together. Diana got a sweet outfit that I can't wait to see her in. She also got the CUTEST ladybug tic-tac-toe set I have ever seen! It is a soft turtle board with turtle and ladybug velcroed pieces that are to be the X's and O's. She got me an incredible cookbook that I can't wait to look through and start making things from. Also she got our family a gift card for Blockbusters so we can enjoy some family movie nights! Thank you Secret Pal for your thoughtfulness this past month and your BEYOND GENEROUS gifts! You are awesome!!

• This past week has been Halloween central! We went to a Halloween fest in our town last Saturday and the boys got to go trick-or-treat at the businesses, listen to stories at the library, parade in their costumes down the street downtown, play games, eat free pizza and go on a tractor ride. Yesterday they had a parade at school and had a party there. After we got home we went trick-or-treating in our neighborhood with our good friends. After that we went to Dave's brother and sister-in-law's house for dinner. The boys were beyond excited all day long and had a blast. My little Transformer & Police Officer were so exhausted by the time we got home. Another successful Halloween! Hip Hip Hooray!!

We've been booed??????

Who would boo our lovely family you ask? Well one of my ladybug pals of course! Pam and her family sent us a box filled with goodies for our boo bag swap. She sent the boys little bags filled with candy and stickers and also got them flashlights and glow bracelets. Diana got the cutest little pumpkin socks and a soft (not to mention beautiful) butterfly blanket. For me and Dave yummy candy and a subscription to one of my favorite magazines.

On a funny note I sent poor Pam on a wild goose chase. In our favorite things database I filled in that I love dark chocolate and Reese's peanut butter cups. Pam thought I loved dark choc Reese's and went out looking for them. She did some research to find out they were limited edition and they were not on the market right now. Pam again I am sooooo sorry for the confusion!

Our family thanks yours for the great treats and of course your continued friendship. It is one of the many blessings we have gotten on this long crazy roller coaster of the adoption ride!

One Year Down & A New Look

Today is our one year anniversary of our LID. I really thought that I would be so much closer to Diana by now. When we started this process I figured that this would be about the time I would find out about her. I thought at this point I would be about 6-8 weeks away from meeting my baby girl for the first time.

The wait has gotten really long and has depressed many of us in the adoption world. I too am included in that. It is so sad to hear the boys ask about Diana and all I can say is "I don't know." for the millionth time. Those poor boys are really confused and there is nothing I can do to help that except say "Eventually we will meet your sister." or "You're sister isn't ready yet."

I could go on and on about what is so horrible about the wait but instead I will say what I have done so far to prepare for our little girl.

• I am currently refiling some forms to keep us "up to date". We have started a savings account to help pay for the rest of the adoption expenses.
• We have gotten some of the things we will need for her nursery.
• We have (ie I have) shopped for some really cute girl clothes.
• I have met people who's families will/do look like my family will and become friends with them.
• I have "met" people on line who are going through the same thing we are so they can relate.
• I collected quilt squares and wishes to start her 100 good wish quilt. We plan on working on the quilt soon and have completed her scrapbook less the wishes we are still waiting on (hint hint).
• I have gotten/read books about adoption/attachment/China/parenting adopted children.
• I have opened my heart and already love Diana.
• I have prayed every night that there is a speed up and for Diana to be safe until I can get her.

Here is to a speed up for all of us waiting. If nothing else I have learned to give up control and to trust that God's timing is perfect!

Also thank you soooo much Heather for my new look! How cool that it was done in time for this post. I love the girly feel with all my butterflies. You did an awesome job!