Diana's 1st beanie baby!
The last two days I have been feeling a bit sad. Yesterday started fine with getting the boys off to school and then having breakfast with my friend Dorothy. She gave me two great presents. One was two lavender votive holders with butterflies and tea lights to put in them. The other was my first gift from someone to Diana. Ty has out a Dora the Explorer Beanie baby from the World Adventure series that is wearing a Chinese outfit. It was so sweet of her to think of Diana like that. She really is a great friend!
I got home did some more decorating. I printed my pictures for my Christmas cards. Addressed and signed most of the cards. Later on I picked up the boys and we headed to Target to get new stocking holders. I automatically picked up three since I hope to have Diana home in time for Christmas next year and I wanted them to at least kinda match. We then were in the aisle looking at stockings and for some reason I decided to get new ones for the boys since theirs were the cheap drug store type....well they had 3 different scenes and colors. I grabbed them all.
Later that evening I really started to think about things and began to miss Diana terribly. I knew from the beginning that there was no way we would have her this year but I think the reality that we will be waiting a long time has finally set in. I hate not having control or even an idea as to when we will get her. I know that it is all in God's timing and that I have no control but it is hard especially when you are me, a complete control freak. In this adventure I have began to learn to give up control (a little bit). It is hard though and right now I am feeling a bit down about things. It doesn't help that CCAA just posted the referrals of only 14 days worth of LIDs. I keep saying to myself "this month we will see more LIDs worth of referrals".
I just hope things start to speed up eventually. I know this is the way we are suppose to build our family and I know that we will have Diana eventually. Its just very hard to wait and not know when we will change from a party of 4 to a party of 5.
If you have gotten through all of this thanks for letting me vent. Hopefully I will have something more positive to say next time.
2 comments:
Lisa, vent away! I understand how you're feeling! Most days, you just go about life and keep busy, but once in a while it just hits you and gets you down, this whole not knowing thing. Especially at the holidays. And it doesn't help when everyone keeps asking, "So, when are you going to China?" Hang in there, my friend - you WILL get The Call, and we will rejoice with you! And your sweet Diana will be home with her family, and you'll hardly remember what life was like without her!
Becky :)
Hi LIsa, sorry it took me so long to comment. Everyone feels down about this process once in awhile, and you need to vent! That's what we're here for......
Post a Comment