A Little Down

Diana's 1st beanie baby!

The last two days I have been feeling a bit sad. Yesterday started fine with getting the boys off to school and then having breakfast with my friend Dorothy. She gave me two great presents. One was two lavender votive holders with butterflies and tea lights to put in them. The other was my first gift from someone to Diana. Ty has out a Dora the Explorer Beanie baby from the World Adventure series that is wearing a Chinese outfit. It was so sweet of her to think of Diana like that. She really is a great friend!

I got home did some more decorating. I printed my pictures for my Christmas cards. Addressed and signed most of the cards. Later on I picked up the boys and we headed to Target to get new stocking holders. I automatically picked up three since I hope to have Diana home in time for Christmas next year and I wanted them to at least kinda match. We then were in the aisle looking at stockings and for some reason I decided to get new ones for the boys since theirs were the cheap drug store type....well they had 3 different scenes and colors. I grabbed them all.

Later that evening I really started to think about things and began to miss Diana terribly. I knew from the beginning that there was no way we would have her this year but I think the reality that we will be waiting a long time has finally set in. I hate not having control or even an idea as to when we will get her. I know that it is all in God's timing and that I have no control but it is hard especially when you are me, a complete control freak. In this adventure I have began to learn to give up control (a little bit). It is hard though and right now I am feeling a bit down about things. It doesn't help that CCAA just posted the referrals of only 14 days worth of LIDs. I keep saying to myself "this month we will see more LIDs worth of referrals".

I just hope things start to speed up eventually. I know this is the way we are suppose to build our family and I know that we will have Diana eventually. Its just very hard to wait and not know when we will change from a party of 4 to a party of 5.

If you have gotten through all of this thanks for letting me vent. Hopefully I will have something more positive to say next time.

Bailey's surgery

Well I have finally gotten a few minutes to post about Bailey and his surgery. For those of you who don't know Bailey has crossed eyes. He has been in glasses for over two years and for a while it seemed like the bi-bifocals were making his eyes look straight. About 3 months ago you could still see him crossing his eyes even with the glasses on. The doctor said it was time to do the surgery to correct it.

We met with the doctor who would do the surgery and he wanted to get some of his own numbers before he did anything. Last month he saw Bailey again and said it was time to schedule the surgery. It was done on Thursday.

The staff at the hospital was incredible! I can not say enough about them! When Bailey got out of surgery he was really scared because he couldn't see at all. I wish I would have known that because I could have at least warned him. He was scared, angry and in his own words "I'm not happy at all!" for quite sometime. We got him home he ate a bit and then slept. He of course napped off and on all day and when he wasn't napping he was complaining of pain or because he couldn't see. The doctor called that night to check on him and the nurse who took care of him after he was out of recovery actually called to see how he was too! Like I said I was completely impressed!

The next morning I will admit that I was panicking. He woke up and could not/would not open his eyes at all. He was crying in pain and could not stand ANY light. We got him to the eye doctor(pre-scheduled appointment) and they immediately came and looked at him. The doctor put special drops in his eyes and cleaned up all the blood, mucus and tears that had congealed and lo and behold he opened his eyes and could see again! We now have to clean his eyes every time he wakes up. On Friday and Saturday he has complained about the pain less and less. Today I think he only complained once. Tomorrow he goes back to school with no PE or recess until we see the doctor again on Wednesday.

I want to thank everyone for their prayers, concerns and well wishes. We really appreciate all that has been done for us.

On a lighter note Friday was family turkey lunch at school. Since Bailey was not in school and no where near ready to be out and about I went and had lunch with Matthew while Dave stayed home with Bailey. It was fun hanging out with Matthew and having lunch with him at school. He loved having lunch with Mommy.....note to self: next year bring your lunch...remember cardboard turkey!

The Boys Artwork

The boys had to decorate a turkey that was brought home from school. The instructions suggested that they use noodles, beads, pasta, magazine clippings, stickers, etc. Bailey decided we should cut out pictures from a magazine. I suggested cutting out pictures of food and using that. He LOVED that idea.

Matthew decided to use stickers and he really went to town. There are stickers of ladybugs, frogs, squirrels, airplanes, cars and the list goes on! The are really great! I hope you enjoy them!!

Dream about Diana

Ever have a dream that you really wanted to know how it ended? Ever get upset that the alarm clock interrupted a really good dream? Well that was me this morning. I woke up about 6:15am and realized I had never set my alarm before going to bed last night. I turn it on and amazingly fall back asleep in minutes. Well unfortunately my alarm clock did its job and woke me up 45 minutes later. The problem is I was having my first VIVID dream about Diana!!

In my dream I was looking through her referral papers. All that I know from the dream is that she never had any immunization. I don't know her birthday, her age, what she likes or dislikes or her Chinese name. I don't know what she looks like. Basically I know all I knew about her before but now I feel cheated that I may have found out more in this dream.

I am recording this down so I will know if this date has any significance on her life. I think about Diana everyday but I am sure that she will be even more on my mind today.

Sweet baby girl Diana, know that today like always Mommy is thinking of you and wishing you were in her arms. I love you and miss you more than you will ever know.

Another blog...

I have created a new blog to post the squares and wishes we get for Diana's quilt. Feel free to check it from time to time to see all the great squares we are getting. As of now we have 13 squares and 12 wishes. We have a long way to go but I have confidence between our friends and family and then the quilt swaps I am in we will get close to 100 if not more. This is really fun. Please check it out! http://100goodwishesfordiana.blogspot.com/

Cyber Showers

From Kari! Thanks!

Both the bracelet and the PJs are from Terri!

I belong to too many yahoo groups to mention! Two of our groups just had their first cyber showers. For those of you who have no idea what I am talking about you put your name in a database and then someone emails you the info for someone and you buy a gift within the price range and within the theme. The gifts are suppose to be for the baby unless otherwise specified. Everyone then opens them on the same day and reveals who their pal was and what they got. I have to say I had so much fun shopping for my pal and then of course getting gifts in the mail.

A HUGE thank you to Terri from Ladybugs, Red Thread Believers...our theme (after our group) was Ladybugs. Terri got me the cutest ladybug pajamas and a cute bracelet from the Journey
To Me Boutique!!! I LOVE IT!!

Another HUGE thank you to Kari from my Sept DTC/LID group...our theme was the Zoo. Kari is very talented and hand-sewn the cutest sock monkey! I know that Diana is going to love her!