6 Months Down

Wow! Even typing those words look amazing. I know there are many more months to go but if i try to think positively its 6 months closer to Diana. The wait is so full of ups and downs and there are times I just want to say I quit. Other times I know that the wait will be well worth it. There have been recent discussions on many boards I am on about the wait. All I can say is hang in there. If you need to take time off to focus on the here and now do it. If you need more comfort and support from us ask for it. We are all going to have our ups and downs and will need others in the adoption community who truly understand what we are going through.

A year ago I believed that we would have Diana in a year from our LID. That would mean I would be half way through our wait at this point. The reality is I still have no control over when I will get Diana but I am sure I will wait well past a year.

It is hard to focus on it but it is hard to put it aside as well. Diana is so much a part of our lives already. We talk about her as a family. We make plans that include her. We buy things for her. Sometimes I feel it would have been easier if we had not told our family and friends about the adoption. It can be hard to hear over and over "What's going on with the adoption?" I know they mean well but when you can't give them a better explanation other than "I don't know" or "We're still waiting" it hurts.

What is even harder though is knowing how much our boys already love their sister and just want to have her home. They stress about when Mommy and Daddy go to China and who will stay with them. They worry about what will happen when they miss us. They are excited about meeting Mommy, Daddy and Diana at the airport and finally getting to hug their little sister who they have loved for so long. So many things to think about when you are six.

Would I change my mind about adopting from China if I knew then what I know now? Probably not! I think I would have just kept my mouth shut about it to our family and friends and maybe even to the boys. At the same time if I had done that Diana would only be a thought in mine and Dave's heart and we wouldn't have been able to share it and have so many people love her already. Like I said this journey is a roller coaster like no other.

So to honor the six months of waiting for Diana I will tell you 6 positive things about this journey.

1. The friends that I have met. Some of them I have never met in person others I have. I have made so many friends who I believe will be my lifetime friends. The two that I feel most closest to need to be recognized. The one who I have actually met in person and is truly now one of my best friends is Kelly. We have been through so much on this journey and knowing she is there has made this so much more bearable. The other friend I have never met in person but we have had many phone calls and lots of support is Jessica. Some day we will meet my friend. Until then know that without you I don't know if I would be the same person that I have become.

2. The new community that I have become a part. The adoption community is so supportive. Whether it is a yahoo group or a more local group we have been enveloped in such a good support system.

3. The love we have seen of our family and friends for a little girl that will not be of our biology but will be our daughter none the less. It amazes us to feel your love!

4. The cyber shower gifts/the secret pal gifts that we have given and also received. This is a great way to make our wait more bearable and a lot of fun.

5. The quilt squares and wishes that we have received for Diana.

6. Our faith that has continued to become more and more a part of our lives. We still haven't started to attend church on a regular basis but I know that it is going to happen soon. Without our love for God and our faith in Him I don't think any of this would be possible.