Why Do I Get This Way?

Bailey with his Responsibility Award

Matthew with the sticker he got for the reading club

Bailey with his sticker he got for the reading club

I have two really hard times every year that started when the boys started preschool. The days leading to and including the first day of the school year and the days leading to and including the last day of the school year. My torture isn't over yet either since tomorrow is the last day of school. The boys have been counting down for over a week now and as much as I can't wait to be able to sleep in on my days off and not have to worry about packing lunches, and getting everything ready for back backs I get a little shall we say "nutty" thinking about my boys completing yet another year of school.

After tomorrow I can't say I am the mom of 2nd graders. I will be saying my boys are 3rd graders. How does this happen? How does a full school year end in the blink of an eye? I think this year may be my hardest yet in letting go. We have been so fortunate to have awesome teachers for both boys this year.

Bailey was in a class that job shared and ended up being a total of three teachers because of maternity leave for both of his teachers. He is such an easy going child that none of this ever bothered him. All three of them were great teachers but especially the one he had for the second half of the year. When a teacher calls you at home to tell you how much she enjoys your child nothing can take you off that cloud.

Matthew's teacher was a "sub" filling in for another teacher's maternity leave for just the first half of the year. We were so excited when said teacher decided to take the rest of the year off. I never met Mrs. B but Mrs K was such an awesome teacher after having a not so good experience with his 1st grade teacher. Mrs. K will always be someone who I will remember with nothing but respect and admiration. She really cared about all the students and especially Matthew. She was such an advocate for him and I will always be grateful. I am excited that although she hasn't been offered a permanent position yet she will be back for another maternity leave next fall. Unfortunately its in 4th grade but we'll take the fact that she will at least be in the building.

Before bed tonight both boys came downstairs a little misty eyed saying they were sad that tomorrow was the last day of school. Matthew broke down in true tears saying he's going to miss Mrs K. and not seeing her everyday. This proves once again what an awesome woman she really is. She has touched him as much as she has touched me.

Another pivotal person I am grateful for this school year is the boys' speech teacher. I can not put into words what this woman has done for both their actual speech issues but also for their spirits. They are soooo excited on speech days. When we see her outside after school both boys have to share info about their day to her. She too has been such an advocate for Matthew this year. Mrs. A is another reason why I love the school the boys go to.

Friday Bailey got an award for Responsibility and both boys were honored for turning in their reading logs every week of the school year. I know how lucky I am to have such good students.

So Bailey and Matthew, congrats on another year completed! You are growing up so fast and get smarter every time I turn around. Lets have a great summer and keep working on your reading and writing so we can impress those 3rd grade teachers!

An Amazing Day

Wow! I am still on a high 72 hours after the date! This past Sunday my boys made their 1st holy communion. I didn't realize how touched I would be to witness this. My boys worked long and hard this past year, memorizing prayers, talking about reconciliation, learning more and more about God, Jesus and our church. They have amazed me with their thoughts and feelings and all I can say is I'm truly blessed. Two years ago my boys hadn't been in a church more than a handful of times and now in the past year we have become extremely active within our new church. Thanks to the S family we found the perfect church for us and the pay off this weekend made it all beyond worthwhile that we drive a half hour every Sunday for church and CCD.

The weather couldn't have been beat. It was sunny and 70ish. Actually it matched my mood. I was nervous for them but of course they were fine. The church really made the mass all about the 11 children who would receive the body Christ for the first time. Before mass began Father took out his guitar and he and the children sang a song together. The children did all the readings, collected the donations (with the help of a proud mommy and daddy =) ), and brought up the gifts. They went up to the alter as Father prepared the Eucharist and said the Lord's prayer together with Father. They lit candles and proclaimed their baptismal promise that we proclaimed on their behalf 8 years ago. They presented us moms with a single white rose and even as I look at it now I cry at its beauty. We proceeded as a family to witness the boys take their first communion and then took communion ourselves. We said a special prayer over our children and told them how proud of them we are. The finale was the children singing a song. My sweet loving Matthew cried as he sang. When we asked him later why he was crying he said they were tears of joy. He really did feel how special the day was.

After our glorious mass we proceeded home and had party to celebrate with our family and friends. The boys looked so handsome and never complained when we made them wear their shirts and ties all afternoon.

As they were getting ready to go to bed the boys asked if I would read to them from one of their books they got that day about the 10 commandments. We read it and I just looked at them and was again amazed at what special boys God has placed in my care.

Remembering....

This picture was taken in December to give to Grandma for Christmas. Aren't they cute???

My babies at one day old snuggled close together in the bassinet in our hospital room! Can you see why its my favorite picture of them?

This post started in my head yesterday as I dropped my boys off at a roller skating party. I remember thinking that I myself had a birthday party at a roller rink. I also remember many other parties that I went to there and thought how weird it is that I'm the mom dropping the kids off while they get to skate. The scary thing though? Even though its a totally different rink...it smelled the same and brought back all the memories that I probably haven't thought of in over 20 years.

I thought of my friends who I had back then and now three of them thanks to Facebook are somewhat in my life again. Another friend Tamie has been consistent but I can't remember if her and I were ever at a skating party together. I do remember Dawn and Jenny G. being there. I even remember a confrontation I had with Jenny's sister before my own b-day party. I also remember her and I finally making up at this party. Weird how I thought about that yesterday.

I was also going through pictures for Matthew to bring to school since he is Star of the Week this week. Bailey was King Bee last week (same concept different name.) He wanted a copy of my all time favorite picture of the boys. They were a day old and to this day I remember seeing my boys snuggled together in the bassinet in the hospital. I remember staring at them in awe and disbelief that they were real. I remember thinking I get to take them home and love them for the rest of my life and although I was scared to death I was ready for the challenge. I remember feeling so full. My family had doubled in the matter of hours (there is 2 hours and 15 minutes between the boys), and I felt complete.

Packing all of their stuff up and getting them bundled for our first ride home made me almost giddy. I was scared because it was snowing out and we had a 45 minute ride. I wanted to sit in the backseat between them but I knew I couldn't wedge myself back there so I sat in the front and my neck was strained by the time we got home.

People ask me all the time how I handled twins. My answer has never wavered. I didn't know anything else. Being a first time mommy with twins was no different than just being a first time mommy period. It was new, it was an adjustment, there were times I cried because I thought I couldn't do it but I did. I do tell people that the first year is a blur and for the most part it was. I can look at pictures and remember certain ones others...not so much.

I remember some of my fondest memories of Dave in those early days were him sitting on a chair in our loft feeding one baby with me on the futon with the other. We were both trying to stay awake yet not fully so we would be able to get back to sleep. I remember falling in love with him all over again knowing that other people weren't as lucky as I was to have their husband help with these kinds of things. Dave and I have always been a team but were more so with newborn babies.

Those babies have grown so much in the past 8 years. Ironically we ran into their preschool teacher at the grocery store this afternoon. In the three years since preschool ended we have not ran into her living in the same town. Today I laughed as the boys told her what they are now into and Mrs F told me that they look exactly the same except taller. Bailey almost didn't remember having glasses when he was in preschool so he questioned her on it. She asked them about school and asked if they liked it. She told them she was glad that she got to see them. It really was endearing.

My boys are halfway through second grade and have soared yet again. I was surprised at how well they scored on the comprehension standardized tests they took this fall. I am amazed how sometimes listening to them I think I am already living with preteens. When I look back at the pictures I can see them toddling through our town house, taking their first steps, speaking their first words. Looking at them now as they get ready to make their first reconciliation to prepare them for their first communion I see the beginnings of little men. To me though....they will always be those cute babies snuggled up together in the bassinet.

Laughter Lives Tuesday...week 2

This post is part of "Laughter Lives! Tuesday" on the Riggs Family Blog. Check our their blog to read everyone else's "Laughter Lives!" posts.



This weeks topic of Laughter Lives Tuesday is:

Funny Things That Happened At...Church, weddings, funeral, anniversary... any family event.

I actually have a couple to share!

Shhhh She's Sleeping!

We were at the wake of Dave's aunt when the boys were about 3 or so. It was an open casket so the boys could definitely see Auntie Irene. I never took them too close to it so they decided that that she must be sleeping. Anytime people would get really loud the boys in unison would say "Shhhh she's sleeping." People would smile and quiet down a bit and of course would later get louder again. The story was a never ending loop except at times people would start to crack up and that would just get the boys more upset!

Yawn

Over the summer we found ourselves going to either the 4:30PM Saturday mass or the 8:00AM Sunday mass so we could spend the rest of Sunday doing family fun things. On one of these occasions Matthew was extremely tired albeit a little bored as well. I swear every time it got extremely quiet between readings or songs you would hear a long loud yawn. I don't know which of us wanted to kill him first. We would hear him yawn and give him the evil eye. He would look at us as if to say "Did I do something wrong?". Of course it wasn't any better since there weren't a lot of people in church on that day. I was amazed and thankful that the priest didn't tease Matthew or us about it as we were leaving. How embarrassing!

Laughter Lives Tuesday

This post is part of "Laughter Lives! Tuesday" on the Riggs Family Blog. Check our their blog to read everyone else's "Laughter Lives!" posts.

This is the first time I am particiapating in this and I'm not sure how often I will do so. Check on the link above to both pray for Abby and to also read other funny stories. This week we are suppose to write of the funny/silly ways our children tell us they love us.


I LOVE YOU STINKY MOMMY

When I wake up the boys in the morning I typically get in their beds and snuggle up to them to wake them up. The other day I crawl in bed with Bailey and and tell him good morning as I rub his back. He says "Good morning stinky mommy." I proceed to ask why I'm stinky and he says just because. I then tell him I love him. Of course his response was "I love you stinky mommy!"

Somehow this has stuck now for over a week and now everyone in the house is stinky. So if you come to our house and Bailey calls you Stinky. Take it as a term of endearment and remember he's 8!

Time For Changes...

and no I'm not talking about the new president getting ready to take office. I do not talk about politics to many people let alone to an audience of my (gasp) blogger followers.

I am talking about all the changes that start this week in our house in the burbs. I should probably back track a little just to get you all up to speed. If you know all this already skim up until you can see the typing become shaky.

I know I mentioned in past posts that my hours had been cut at work. A few weeks before Christmas I thought I was gaining a couple hours because we were restructuring a few different people's jobs. I was beyond thrilled and even told my supervisor it was an early Christmas present. Well folks that lasted all of 72 hours. I had worked an extra day to fill in for a coworker and then went home. I heard the phone ring, saw work on caller id and figured they had a question about something that had happened. No big deal right? WRONG. Dead Wrong!!!

I could hear my office managers voice shaking as she told me they had to cut my hours. She told me that they had also let two other of my co-workers go. She said business (as I knew) was beyond slow. She also told me that my hours as well as being cut had changed too. My heart feel to my stomach and I didn't know what to say or do. She told me she thought it was temporary and that I would eventually get more hours than I knew what to do with. We hung up and I started to sob and called my bff K. She would keep me sane until Dave came home with the kids. We talked, she did the pep talk thing. She told me not to break down in front of the kids and told me that we (Dave and I) would make it through. The irony of all this you ask? I had quickly typed up my resume just that morning and submitted to a company for a full time job. I knew I would never get that job but I had done it.

So Dave gets home I tell the kids to start their homework and tell Dave to follow me to our room. I shook as I told him. He looked at me in utter disbelief but in typical Dave fashion he said we would be fine. He told me we would get through it and reminded me of all the other things we had over come in the 11 years we had been together. I tried to believe him but was not nearly as certain as he was. I tried my hardest to act normal in front of the boys. I do recall even eating a little bit at dinner that night.

I did see an ad on line for a job that looked perfect for me. I polished up the resume and submitted it. A few days later the agency called me and asked me a few questions. She liked my answers and asked me to come in for an interview. I was terrified. The interview went relatively well and I realized she was impressed with all I told her. I took a few tests (typing, data entry, and MS Word) and was sent on my way. I went over to K's house feeling confident.

I called a few days later to touch bases with the agency. She assured me the office manager hadn't made any decisions as to who they wanted to interview. The Friday before Christmas the agency calls me and asks me to come in for an interview the following Tuesday.

I won't go into the lack of sleep that weekend. The day of the interview I get a call before 9am cancelling my 3pm interview. The weather is bad and the office manager doesn't want to put me under any stress in getting there (is she serious????). I am told she will be out of the office until the 5Th of January and she is not interviewing anyone else until she gets back. I go on with my life of working the new horrible schedule and spending time with family and friends for the holidays.

I go on my interview the 6Th of January. I leave unsure of how to react. I am confused and not sure what the office manager thought of me. I am relieved that it is done. I get a call from the agency asking me how it went. I tell her the interview was good and she informs me the office manager was beyond pleased with me (which did really surprise me). I get a call later that afternoon asking me if I can meet with the head doctor the next day for another interview. I say I will move mountains to get there.

I was beyond impressed with the doctor who interviewed me. She is sweet and accommodating yet has an air about her that you just have to respect. She asked me thought provoking questions but nothing that was hard at all. I felt comfortable. I left there feeling like I was a definite candidate for the job but not as confident as Dave was that I had gotten the job. He told me before I left for my interview the job was mine for the taking (he really can be a good cheerleader!).

I get to work after my interview and it was like a whirlwind. The agency calls me to see how I thought things went and asked if I was still interested. I say yes and she says she will be in touch. I don't expect to hear from her again that day. About an hour or so later my cell phone rings again and its the agency. I know now that I will have an answer and I begin to shake uncontrollably. I can't talk at the moment so I have to call her back. I do what I need to do but honestly I couldn't tell you what I did in the time between me hanging up with her and then calling her back. She tells me she is officially offering me the job on behalf of the office of.....I am flabbergasted and don't know what to say besides "YES, YES, YES!!!" I tell her I will go tell my office manager before she leaves for the day.

I give my immediate supervisor notice before I can even comprehend what I am doing. I am still shaking and I am full of every emotion you can think of. She tells me to tell the the office manager who actually calms my fear (somewhat) by telling me she's relieved because she is certain there are going to be more negative changes happening in the office and she fears she would have to let me go soon. I had proposed to staying on a few Saturdays a month and to copy charts still which she says fine too. She then tells me to go tell my husband.

Poor Dave, my biggest cheerleader is the third to know I got the job. He will tease me until the day I die about that but I know he knows I really had no choice. When I got home from work that night he reminds me that he promised me just a few weeks before that everything would be okay. I smile and tell him I know.

So Tuesday I start at my new office. I go from dealing with pediatric patients and their parents to dealing with patients who are mainly older than me. I will spend one week working at both jobs and it will be scary and sad and exciting all at the same time.

I wonder how long I will continue to work at SPA on a part time basis. I wonder if I will fade away from there or will those hours fade because someone else needs them. I wonder if I will forge the great friendships I that I made in my six years at SPA. I wonder if those friendships will survive now that I'm not there as often as before. I wonder how quickly I will feel comfortable at FPMG. I wonder how my family life will improve when I'm not secretly waiting for the other shoe to drop. I wonder how long it will take until we really see the financial difference in the steady hours not to mention the better pay I will be getting.

The only thing that I don't doubt in all of this God. The way this whole thing went down I can not equate it to anything else. Why else would I have wrote up my resume the same day my hours were cut? Why else would that have been the only job I truly wanted and then in the long run gotten? Why else did I feel at ease (for the most part) during all three interviews when I hadn't been on an interview for 6.5 years? I know that God was there the whole time answering my prayers to help keep my family afloat. This is why I am certain this job was meant for me.

Stay tuned for more changes that are in the works in our house in the burbs.....

Get Well Soon

Sunday morning I woke up the boys and told them our final family Christmas party was cancelled. I let them know that Don (close older male friend) was in the hospital. Matthew immediately starts to cry and in my mom of the year fashion think that he's upset since he won't be getting the presents he's expecting. He says "I feel so sad for Don, Mommy!" I tell him that Don will be better soon and remind him how he was in the hospital and they made him feel better and now look at him. He smiles and I think the subject is closed.

We go down to the main level and he says he needs to get something out of the basement. I figured it was his DS since he just bought himself a new game thanks to Auntie Kathi and Aunt Cassandra. He comes up and hands me a piece of yellow construction paper. He made Don a Get Well Soon card. He did this completely unprompted. I told him we will definitely get it off to Don. (Notice that he signed it from Bay as well!)

I am so proud of my boy!! Again though I will NOT be a contender for mom of the year in 2009...and to think I was in the running for all of 3 days this year!